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MyMtEveresters, I have a friend that asked
me to write some advice about mid life career
change. First, let me be clear that I am not giving
advice. Mostly because I'm always in the middle
figuring it all out myself - whatever "it" is,
which I also haven't figured out. Is it Time for a
Change? I do have thoughts about
changing careers - anytime in your life. My thought
is that if you are thinking about it, you probably
should consider it. When I was younger,
conventional wisdom said that you ought to find a
good company to work for - one that has mega
benefits -and hang on for the ride. At one time,
multiple jobs reflected poorly on your resume. That
may still be somewhat true; however, the definition
of "multiple" has expanded, significantly. Plus, we
need to remember that the biggest increase in
United States business has been the entire segment
of small (and tiny) business and entrepreneurs, and
you don't need a resume to start your own business.
The great thing about creating a business for
yourself is that you can tailor it to your
interests, and you can start it without quitting
your job. Permission Start on the
Inside But something comes first.
First, you have to do your psychological and
spiritual homework. You have to give yourself
permission to undock from the mother ship. For
those that have found a job with great benefits,
thinking of leaving the cushy job seems tantamount
to insanity or suicide. But, it just "seems" that
way. Really, adolescents do it all the time. They
pick up and leave the comfort of their family home
in search of their own adventures. I recently met a woman at a
seminar that I attended. She made the leap. She had
worked for a large entertainment company in charge
of their strategic planning. This was not a
"chopped liver" job. She earned six figures, got
benefits, and she loved her job. Except…
Except, her inner guidance system said that it was
time to go. Now she has her own consulting business
and is moving toward her own TV show. It will
happen for her - big. How Did I Get
Here? What brings someone to the
brink of change and motivates him/her to jump is
different for different people. Sometimes it's a
trauma: a life threatening illness survived, an
accident, a crime, a broken relationship, etc.. But
sometimes it's the haunting feeling in the back of
your mind that you are missing something and you
haven't a clue what it is. That's the toughest,
because your decision to move on is not as easily
defensible to the larger community. Of course,
that's based on the belief that you need to defend
yourself or explain. And isn't the fact that you
want to move on enough? Isn't wanting - that aching
desire - to move on the same as being called to
find a new direction in your life? Isn't being
called, that same being called as those that are
called to a religious life? We honor the beaconing to
church, but many of us deny this very same drive or
call to anything else. In fact, we obfuscate our
dream or passion. Instead, we say that we don't
know what we want, and we do nothing. Action, Action,
Action. Whereas, I operate on the
theory that if you don't know what you want to do,
do something, anything. Figure out what you like,
don't like, and adjust. Please don't wait around
till you figure out what your passion is. I mean if
you've taken the various vocations tests, read the
various spiritual books, and still haven't figured
it out, DO something, anything. If thinking doesn't
trigger the action, stop thinking and start doing.
For you, it may be that action is the trigger to
your thought/passion. This Process of Elimination
Approach© has seemed to work for me. I started
out as a teacher by crossing out what I didn't want
to do. I didn't want to be a secretary, accountant,
doctor, and I ended up not willing to go to three
more years of school to be a lawyer. I didn't like
classroom teaching, so I got my Masters and became
a reading specialist. That's how it has happened
throughout my life, including part-time working
while full-time family raising. And here I am
again, embarking on what is next. The more
experience I have in life (euphemism for the older
I get) the more respectful I am of my intuition and
the less demanding of myself for back-up
reasons. Be Strong Enough to Use
Help I think the biggest changes
that have come in my life, started after I first
asked for help. Help can be a psychiatrist, a
counselor, a coach, an internship, Toastmasters,
creating your own mastermind group. I've done them
all, and I highly recommend them. All - singly and
combined. Be
Flexible Sometimes, life can get in
the way of our dreams. Many parents have had to put
aside them own dreams to care for a chronically
sick child. Sometimes parents need our help. Just
pay attention. Sometimes we use our loved ones'
needs as excuses for not taking our own chances,
but sometimes not. If leaving a job is not
feasible, you are not off the hook. Life isn't
supposed to be a prison, not even a
pleasant-job-with-mega-benefits prison. The worst
prison is the prison of your mind. You have the key
to that prison door within you; unlock it. You can
still challenge yourself to carve out one hour a
day, or one hour a week, at least. Use that time
for yourself. It may mean sitting in the park by
yourself. It may mean writing for an hour, it may
mean Internet research, or library research. There
are no rules for this hour except the rules you
impose. The Theory of
Restart Be mindful of the Theory of
Restart that says that during the establishment of
a habit (in this case the habit of honoring your
deepest needs) we may have many false starts before
we establish Habit Muscle Memory. So if you forget
that daily/weekly hour this week start again next
week, and start again, and start again until you
have established this habit. No stopping allowed;
restart. The Rule of Restart doesn't address how
many times you've stopped; it honors that more
times you have restarted. So, my friend on the brink
of change, evaluate clearly. Be it from your job or
within it, close your eyes and jump.
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