 My Mt.. Everest is a metaphor for including in your life fun, recreational activities that challenge your fear and strengthen your courage. It's a sure way to develop your "courage muscle." First, Your Mt.. Everest. Then, the world.
Newsletters: 2009 2008 2007 September 2006 December My Mount
Everest: August, 2006 Keith Cunningham
Since everyone is different
(although, also, very much the same), I cannot
assume that my challenges are shared by everyone
else. But surely I share them with some others -
maybe, many others. Here is my challenge:
maintaining, follow-through, perseverance ON MY OWN
BEHALF. I have all the fine qualities for others,
be they family, friends, or the community. This is
the long way to say that continuing this e-letter
is a challenge, quite a challenge. You can see that
it is. Each month the e-letter is getting later and
later in the month, so that this e-letter leads the
following month. What is it that makes it so
challenging? Well, there are a number of things.
Other interests take significant amounts of my
time. But I think, really, it has more to do with
feeling as if I've already said everything; that I
have nothing new to offer. It has more to do with
"buyers remorse." All of a sudden, I get attacks of
uncertainty about being so self-revealing. It is
painful. I was raised to be so turtlized (encased
in self protection as is a turtle {yes, I made up
the word}) that showing "a bit of skin" is quite
unnerving. It's like walking down the wedding aisle
and half way down saying "Oops; this is a mistake,
or is it?' There is an out. You can go screaming
from the chapel, but do you want to? That's the
worse kind of buyer's remorse. It's worse than the
buyer's remorse of a pregnant woman entering labor.
At least in that case, there is no choice. Baby
will out. It doesn't diminish the terror, but it
does relieve you of choice. I am struggling with
the choice versus commitment. Doing my comedy
performances at The Comedy Store and the Hollywood
Improv were my opportunities to practice overcoming
this angst of self-revelation. The comedy confronts
and deflects at the same time. And laughing is my
escape valve. I know sharing myself has
lessons for others if I can just persist. And in
classic Merle form, the second comedy performance
was more difficult in terms of pre (2-3 weeks)
performance jitters. Yet, as one would anticipate,
the second time I performed significantly better
than the first. The Comedy Store asked me to
perform again. I was back East and missed the date,
but I still haven't called to explain. I'm afraid
that the Comedy Store booking agent will schedule
me at a time that I can make. I still have 2
performances left that I am committed to. Two more
opportunities to confront my demons. I need more
than that, so this e-letter will continue on until
I have learned what I need to learn. It worries me that I work
as a coach and show all this messy inner-working of
me. How much confidence in me can that instill. Yet
I appreciate when speakers and teachers, mentors,
and coaches reveal their own issues. It's when I
(the audience) see the "guru's" issues that are not
intentionally revealed that I snicker. (I can be
condescending at times.) It is curious to me that I
am so driven to stare down this demon at this later
time in my life. I am not now a chick; I am
chick-reminiscent --- long in the tooth, but with
attitude. I suppose that really, I have
accomplished what I set out to do, almost entirely.
I got a BS and MS in Education. I taught for
several years. I partnered with my husband in
successful businesses. I unified a blended family
(kind of). I continue to be a devoted , "put your
money where you mouth is' mother and wife and
grandmother. I definitely go the extra mile - and
enjoy it. I like making the contribution. I am a
good friend and have volunteered endless time and
leadership in my community. I have been effective.
I know it; I planned it; and created it. My
financial life is comfortable, my health is fine.
My husband is devoted and healthy. Yet, I so easily
forget my accomplishments when in the light of
others who assert with confidence. At this point, Peggy Lee
would ask "Is that all there is?" But that's not my
question, not at all. I love what I have; I
appreciate it on a daily basis. I find the lovely
moon in the sky each night, the welcome of the sun
each day. I marvel at my ability to accomplish what
I want so darn unconsciously. The buzzword for this
feeling currently is abundance. It works. I feel
abundant. And so "Is that all there is?" seems way
to victim- mentality to me. What I am saying to
myself each day is "What's next?" What can I do
with my life if I am actually conscious of my
goals. This brings me back to my
approach to coaching &endash; Non-linear. It's what
I employ on myself to bring myself closer to the
goals I hadn't ever dared to dream before. It's
backing in with my eyes squinted to almost closed.
What if I can make a big impact on the world. What
if I can make significant money doing that. What is
I can meet the people I admire and learn from the
very best, and then share all of that. I know that
I have a quirky, a bit off-center way of thinking,
analyzing, expressing ideas that does resonate with
some people. What if I dared to star in my own life
and others. I am forcing myself to write this
down. I think being a woman out
front is vitally important. We need as many as we
can get - in every field. Women (and men) need to
see how things get interpreted by a woman; it's
different. For instance. Napoleon Hill is so very
highly regarded for his book "Think and Grow
Rich." (Best-selling author
Napoleon Hill teaches the 17 success principles
used by the great success stories of the early 20th
century. Napoleon Hill interviewed with William
Wrigley, Alexander Graham Bell, Andrew Carnegie and
500 others. He shares the secrets that helped all
of these great leaders rise to the top in their
respective industries.) I read his book about 15
years ago when I was in the insurance industry,
trying to sell life insurance, a product I believe
in. I was very put off my Mr. Hill. It was so
quintessentially "male." The sense of competition,
the sheer aggression of the book made me feel
inadequate, enervated, outside the "club.' And,
trust me, this is the first time that I have said
this outloud. I wish I could have read the recent
comments of Dr. LaVona Reeves, professor of English
at Eastern Washington University, talking to Sarah
Gibbard Cook, PhD of Women in Higher Education
WIHE.com "t's an easy trap for women
and minorities - to figure it's our fault when
others reject us or entrenched powers push us
aside. We take what's outside our control and
internalize it. The way past self-doubt is the
opposite: Externalize what's inside us by writing
and talking and sharing our stories." Amen.
Amen. Please let me know if you
would like to contribute to My Mt. Everest
e-letter: About Merle M. Singer: |