January 25, 2010
Filling the Empty Space Inside
Last Thursday I was at a Toastmaster (PWT) meeting, and a young woman answered a Table Topic (extemporaneous speaking, 2-3 minutes) speaking about her fortunate life and yet a persisting Empty Space inside of her.
This comment and the recognition of the concept by the other women has been rattling around my head ever since. How do I respond to this? Email the one woman, Prepare a speech, write at my IMperfectSpouse Site. No, no, no. I will write in MyMtEverest blog. Haven’t done so in a while, and it seems like the right place. I want to deal with this now.
I think that having emptiness inside of you is not something that you just observe. It’s important that you do something about it.
Take Responsibility
That feeling could be a signal that your values and visions are evolving and need some maintenance work. That feeling, if it’s new for you, is like the beeping of the smoke detector letting you know that it’s time to change the battery and it’s time to change something in your life.
Those that heed the beeping smoke detector are the take-action people. They take responsibility for their own well-being.
There a 2 approaches to life that I often observe in people.
1. Many people view events in their world as done to us; therefore, we have no responsibility. It is true that some things are done to us. I’m 5’2”; done to me. Earthquake is done to us.
However, even when it’s a physical ailment that’s done to us, it’s our responsibility to participate in our own healing—take the medicine as prescribed, do the appropriate exercises on a regular basis, etc.
So if the hole in your soul is an ailment, then what part will you play in it’s healing? Just asking the question of yourself is healing.
Healing doesn’t need to be a matter of dramatic changes like a year in the Peace Corp, though that may be the right prescription for some.
It may not even be necessary to quit your high paying job to feel fulfilled. Maybe you only need to stop taking your job for granted, keeping it in a vacuum. Rather you might see that the advertising agency where you are working as moving commerce along and improving the economy. Seeing your job in the bigger context and the energy you put into doing your job in the bigger context, that larger mission may completely redefine how you feel about what you are doing. Think of Richard Scarry’s childrens books; everyone is doing an important job that keeps the wheels of civilization going.
Some say ‘Find your passion and the money/happiness will follow’. But Passion isn’t a Hide and Seek game; it’s a tool of living. Whatever you are doing—teaching kids or sweeping the floor, do it with passion. Passion and fulfillment doesn’t necessarily come from WHAT you do it comes from HOW you do it.
For sure don’t look for someone else to fill a vacuum inside you. Only YOU can do that. Maybe that’s scary, but it’s also comforting. No event, no person can take charge of your core place no matter what.
Value your contribution
2. Which leads to the other way of looking at our lives that causes holes in our spirit. It’s not valuing ourselves and our own contribution. If we don’t honor ourselves, if we don’t see what we are offering the world every day that we live, we don’t feel the gratification of our own gift to the world. It’s not what you are doing. It’s how you feel about yourself doing it.
It’s easier to be smug, sophisticated and unfulfilled than it is to commit to a vision of your life and work it—-don’t judge it; work it.
The fulfillment that you seek is like the happiness that I talk about in my 3-step Transform your Relationship Experience course. It’s not out there in distance or in time. It’s right here close to you, within your own reach now. Claim it. It’s yours. It’s inside your body. Feel it fill your entire insides and relax and smile. You are full. You are filled. Thank you for being in my life and sharing your light with me.
It’s taken way longer for me to figure all this out than I would like it to have taken. I think it was because no one told me, but maybe it was because I never heard. What about you? Let me know what you think.
And might as well remind you while you are here, that I will be at Amazing Womans Day on January 30. I feel that at least a couple of you would enjoy and benefit from this Day of encouragement and camaraderie with other active women. I am a Feminine Leader at the event and will lead a break-out session. Check out my website http://IMperfectSpouse.com and click the Amazing Womans Button on the Top Right. If you’re interested I have one ticket at discount. Ask me about it.
While your there check for the free gift. (Come back if it’s not up yet.) And some of you will want to sign up for my next “The 3-step Transform your Relationship Experience” course. Do it. It starts February 1. Click the 3-step telecourse Button on Top Right and then on the next page, click the ‘Add to Cart’.
Filed under Blog, My Mt. Everest by Merle_Singer
